A LITTLE GENTLE HUMOUR

 

LOT'S  WIFE

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mommy looked back once while she was driving," he announced  triumphantly, "And she turned into a telephone  pole!"

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GOOD  SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of  the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, "If you  saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"

A  thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence,  "I think I'd throw  up."

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DID  NOAH FISH?

A Sunday  school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."

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HIGHER  POWER

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We  have been learning how powerful kings and queens  were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"

One child  blurted out,   "Aces!"

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MOSES  AND THE RED SEA


Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.

"Well,  Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."

"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his Mother  asked.

"Well, no, Mom, but, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe  it!"  



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THE  LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday  School teacher decided to have her young class  memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.

Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.

On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous.  When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my  Shepherd, and that's all I need to  know."

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UNANSWERED  PRAYER

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a  moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.

"Well, Honey," he began,  proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."

"How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked. 



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BEING  THANKFUL

A Rabbi said to a precocious  six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable.  What does she say?"

The  little boy replied, "Thank God he's in  bed!" 


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UNTIMELY  ANSWERED PRAYER

During the minister's  prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked,  "Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?"

Tommy answered soberly, "I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!" 



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TIME  TO PRAY

A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.  


"Yes,  sir." the boy replied.

"And, do you always say them in the morning, too?" the pastor asked. 

"No sir," the boy replied. "I ain't scared in the  daytime"  



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ALL  MEN / ALL GIRLS

When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls."

This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?"

Her response, "Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!"

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SAY A  PRAYER 

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny!  Please wait until we say our prayer." said his mother.

"I don't need to," the boy  replied.

"Of course,  you do." his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's at our house." Johnny explained.  "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!"

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