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Showing posts from May, 2010

Don't try to outsmart your Dad

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father
 as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
 His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up
 from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut.
 Then we'll talk about the car.'
 The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the
 offer, and they agreed on it.
 After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades up
 and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm
 disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.'
 The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've
 noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the
 Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair...and there's even strong
 evidence that Jesus had long hair.'
 To this his father replied, 'Did you also notice they walked everywhere

Inventor of first ATM dies at 84

London - A Scotsman credited with inventing the world's first automatic cash machine has died at the age of 84 after a short illness, his funeral director has said. John Shepherd-Barron died peacefully in hospital in Inverness, northern Scotland, on Saturday, said funeral director Alasdair Rhind. He started thinking about how to obtain cash outside business hours after being locked out of his bank, and the eureka moment came when he was in the bath, the BBC reported. "It struck me there must be a way I could get my own money, anywhere in the world or the UK," he told the broadcaster in a 2007 interview. "I hit upon the idea of a chocolate bar dispenser, but replacing chocolate with cash." Barclays commissioned the invention and the first automatic teller machine (ATM) was installed at a London bank in 1967. It paid out a maximum of 10 pounds a time. Plastic bank cards had not been invented at the time, so Shepherd-Barron's machine used cheques impregnated w…

7 Minute Chocolate Brownie Resep

'n Heerlike Chocolate Brownie resep - nie so droog nie Koek Bestanddele: 1 koppie koekmeel 1 koppie suiker 3 eetlepel kakao 1 kop lou water 1 teelepel vanilla essens 4 teelepels bakpoeier 1/4 teelepel sout 2 eiers 1/4 koppie kookolie Sous Bestanddele 1 blik Ideal melk 1/4 koppie suiker 200g sjokolade Koek Metode: Sif droë bestanddele saam Klits eiers en meng met lou water, olie en vanilla essens Voeg droë bestanddele en eiermengsel saam en meng goed Gooi in gesmeerde plat bak Plaas 7 minute op 100% in mikrogolfoond Los vir 1 minuut in mikrogolf voor dit oopgemaak word Haal uit oond en laat goed afkoel Sous Smelt 3/4 (driekwart) van die ideal melk en al die suiker saam Gooi oor koek Smelk 1/4 (kwart) van die ideal melk en sjokolade saam Gooi oor koek Dankie Ansie vir die resep http://www.eposvriende.comTo join for  English Recipes only  send a message to:   english_recipes-subscribe@yahoogroups.comOr visit:    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/english_recipesOm aan te sluit vir Resepte in Afrikaans en Engels stuur…

I know

I Know·I know He is the beginning, so why do I worry about the end?
·I knowHe is the creator,so why do I wonder who will destroy?
·I know He has forgiven me,so why can't I forgive myself?
·I know He is the healer,so why do I speak of sickness?
·I know He can do all things,so why do I say I can't?
·I know He will protect me, so why do I fear?
·I know He will supply all my needs, so why can't I wait?
·I know He is my strength and salvation, so why do I feel weak?
·I know that everything and everyone has a season, so why when someone's season is over do I weep instead of rejoice?
·I know He is the right way, so why do I go the wrong way?
·I know He is the light, so why do I choose to walk in darkness?
·I know that whatever I ask of GOD, GOD will give me, so why am I scared to ask?
·I know that tomorrow is not promised, so why do I put off for tomorrow what I can do today?
·I know that the truth shall make me free, so why do I continue to lie?
·I know He gives us revelation, k…

The safest place to be (Church humor)

1. Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20% of all fatal accidents.2. Do not stay home because 17% of all accidents occur in the home.3. Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14% of all accidents occur to pedestrians.4. Avoid traveling by air, rail, or water because 16% of all accidents involve these forms of transportation.5. Of the remaining 33%, 32% of all deaths occur in hospitals. So above all else, avoid hospitals.But, you will be pleased to learn that only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services in church, and these are usually related to previous physical disorders. Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given point in time is at a church! And Bible study is safe too. The percentage of deaths during Bible study is even less. So, attend a church and read your Bible. IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE!http://www.eposvriende.comTo join for  Christian e-mails, send a message to:  Christian-ePosVriende-subscribe@yahoogroups.c…

Hey, lady! .... Why don't you let him pass?"

After being retired for a couple of years and completing all the jobs my wife had lined up for me, I began to feel somewhat useless and decided to enroll in a couple of courses at the local adult-education school. I noted, upon registration, that there was no tuition fee for a person over 60. As I handed my tediously-filled-out papers to the clerk, I announced, "I'm 63." Then, pulling out my wallet, I asked if she wanted to see my driver's license. She replied, "No, that's okay."

A little surprised, I asked, "Oh, do I look honest?"

"No," she answered. "You look 63."



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I found New York City immense and confusing on my first trip there. One evening during the rush hour, I stopped at a newsstand in the heart of Times Square and asked the vendor which direction was north.

"Look, buddy," he replied in a loud and annoyed voice. "We go uptown, we got downtown, and we got cross-town. We don't got nor…

Mothers and the Census

THAT'S LIFE: A CENSUS POEM[Published in the July 2007 edition of Royal Statistical Society News,
London]He said "Your occupation please",
This census-taking guy.
I started to enumerate
And said quite frankly, "I
Wash the dishes, scrub the floors,
Shine the windows, polish doors,
Bathe three children, wipe their noses,
Work a little in the roses.
Do the washing, iron the clothes,
Pick up playthings, mend the hose,
Sweep out daily, close britches,
Sew a dress with tiny stitches,
Nurse a sick one, make the beds,
Kiss hurt places, shampoo heads,
Wash the blood off, hunt the mittens,
Wipe up after pups and kittens,
Tuck in covers, hear each prayer,
Brag a little, ease a care,
Take your pick. I get no pay,
But that's what I do every day".
He listened very carefully,
That's why I'm so annoyed,
Because that man just scribbled down
'Housewife. Unemployed.'
www.eposvriende.com

Just a house wife

For Mothers
(Author Unknown)

A few months ago, when I was picking up the children at school, another mother I knew well rushed up to me. Emily was fuming with indignation. "Do you know what you and I are?" she demanded. Before I could answer, and I didn't really have one handy, she blurted out the reason for her question. It seemed she had just returned from renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office. Asked by the woman clerk to state her occupation. Emily had hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. What I mean is, "explained the recorder, "Do you have a job, or are you just a .....?"

Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a mother."

"We don't list 'mother' as an occupation...'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The clerk was obviously a caree…

JUDAS ASPARAGUS - Good one

Judas AsparagusIf you need a laugh today, then  this should do it!
A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. This is amazing and brought tears of laughter to my eyes. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching???
Through the eyes of a child:
The Children's Bible in a Nutshell
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there wasnothing but God, darkness, and some gas.  The Bible says,'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.
Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve.  Adam and Eve were naked,but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't beeninvented yet.. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one badapple, so they were driven from theGarden of Eden .. ot sure what they were driven …