Friday, December 18, 2009

The Truth about Santa / Father Christmas





I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.

Think about it. 

Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!


For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting

gifts until Christmas Eve.

It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of

Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.


Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket

wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves.

(You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an

enormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.)

On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.


Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas

morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the


Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there.

First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and

strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate

claims that buck season had been extended.

Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost

up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for


Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in

the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint

bricks in the flue.

He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in

every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to

straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.


Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:

- Men can't pack a bag.

- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.

- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with

all those elves.

- Men don't answer their mail.

- Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as

anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."

- Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.

- Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to

pick up women.

- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.


I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men.........

- Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. 

Definite guy.

- Cupid flies around carrying weapons.

- Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these

individuals could pass the testosterone screening test.


But not St. Nick. Not a chance. As long as we have each other, good will,

peace on earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas Song,"

it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is. I just wish she'd

quit dressing like a guy!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Vir die manne

Why Does an Entire String of Christmas Lights Fail When a Single Bulb Burns Out?

A seemingly innocent string of Christmas lights actually has many tricks up its sleeve, most of which won't be discovered by the household tree decorator until it's too late. Christmas tree lights really do multiply in the box, and they spend most of their days braiding themselves together in Gordian knots. The final act of Christmas light cruelty is the "all or nothing" lighting trick. Depending on the design, an entire string of Christmas lights can indeed fail if only a single bulb burns out or comes out of its socket. The reason for this has to do with the nature of electrical circuits and the Christmas bulbs which depend on them.

There are two basic electrical wiring scheme used to form a string of Christmas lights. One scheme, called a series uses a single wire connection between bulbs to light them all. The electricity from the household outlet flows down that single wire and through the first Christmas tree bulb. That bulb glows as a certain amount of electrons escape into the bulb. The rest of the electricity continues to flow through the wire to the next bulb in the series and so on until the string of Christmas lights is either connected to another string or the electricity flows back into the negative side of the outlet.

This series arrangement works well until one of the bulbs burns out or is removed from the socket. At that point, the electrical circuit cannot be completed and all of the remaining lights will not glow. The only way to restore the circuit in a series lighting scheme is to replace the bad bulb with one that is known to work. Finding the bad bulb or even bulbs in a string of Christmas lights is often easier said than done, however. The known good bulb becomes a tester as each bulb is replaced individually until the string lights up again. If a new bulb is placed in an empty socket in a series, the string should light again as well.

There is a second wiring scheme which should keep an entire string of Christmas lights from failing because of a single bulb, but it could still happen under the right circumstances. In a parallel Christmas light scheme, two wires carry the electricity through each bulb. Theoretically at least, if one bulb's filament burns out, the remaining lights should remain lit. The second wire guarantees that the circuit will not be broken entirely. The problem with a parallel system is the complete removal of a Christmas bulb from its socket. Unless the parallel string of Christmas lights has a special shunt installed in the socket to bridge the gap, all of the lights may still go out.

Even the new LED strings of Christmas lights can fail if one bulb in the circuit burns out, especially if the string is wired in series, not parallel. It is always a good idea to keep spare bulbs available for last-minute emergencies and to inspect every string of Christmas lights carefully before adding it to the tree or stapling it to the roof outside. Parallel lights can be more expensive than series lights, but avoiding the tedious task of tracking down a single bad bulb may make the investment worthwhile.







Human Trafificking 2010 al hoe nader aan die huis





Liewe Melaine

 Ek het nie tyd om alles vir jou te verduidelik nie – ons is betrokke in Human Trafficking.  Asb.  10 000 kinders word beplan en word reeds gesteel hiervoor.  Stuur asb vir jou vriendinne om hulle kinders soos valke dop te hou – dogters EN seuns.




Hi julle,

 Ek begin regtig bekommer raak hieroor.  2 Weke terug het het 'n man in Mr Price home my nie gesien staan nie en reguit na Emily geloop en aan haar gevat.  Ek het hom gevra wat hy doen  toe se hy sy is vir hom so mooi en vat weer aan haar, ek het amper 'n beroerte gekry.  In die laaste 2 weke het dit 2 keer met haar gebeur, verlede week weer toe sy saam met my ma in Pick 'n Pay was.  Ek het ook gehoor dat hulle so aan hulle vat en met die ander hand iets inspuit wat hulle dadelik uitsit!

 Lees hier onder, hierdie het regtig gebeur, ons kan glad nie ons kinders alleen los of ons oe van hulle afhou in die winkels nie!

 Stuur vir almal aan sodat ons meer oplettend kan wees!



Hannes se broer, Stephan het so 2maande terug binne FNB in Kempton Park
gestaan toe hulle 'n dogtertjie van omtrent 3jr oud uit die bank uit gesteel
het.  Hulle is verby AL die 'sekuriteit' en kameras uit die sentrum uit
sonder dat enige iemand iets gesien of vermoed het.  2ure later was daar nog
geen teken van die kind of enige iemand wat iets gesien het nie...

Dis regtig iets om oor bekommerd te wees!!!!!!  (Lees hier onder, en dis nog
baie nader aan die huis.)



Ek was Vrydag middag (21/11) so net na 14:00 by die Lifestyle Sentrum in
Centurion - waar die groot HyperMarket is. Ek het na die speelgoedwinkel(Toy
Zone) daar gegaan vir 'n geskenk vir my dogtertjie se maatjie wat die
Saterdag verjaar het.
My seuntjie(2 jaar)  en dogterjie(6 jaar) het agter in die winkel op een van
daai Magnetiese skryfborde gestaan en teken. Ek het vorentoe geloop in die
winkel en iets anders gesien, daarna gekyk en toe my dogterjie geroep om ook
te kom kyk. Ek het haar toe gevra watter een van die 2 vir 'n geskenk en sy
het een gekies. Ek het toe na die betaalpunt geloop voor in die winkel en
die present vir die dame gegee om op te lui.
Ek het vir my dogterjie gevra om solank vir haar boetie te gaan roep - sy
het gehardloop en seker 'n minuut later terug gekom en gese sy kry hom nie.
Ek het toe in die winkel begin soek na hom en geroep, maar daar was geen
teken van hom nie en hy het ook nie geantwoord nie.
Net toe het my dogtertjie my geroep dat hy daar voor by haar is. Ek het
soontoe geloop en daar was hy by 2 polisiemanne.
Hulle het vir my gese dat hulle hom bo in die sentrum by die Pick n Pay in
die geselskap van twee swarte mans gekry het en toe hulle gevra wie se kind
is dit.
Die 2 mans het toe gese hulle weet nie hy het sommer net saam geloop. Die
polisieman het toe my seuntjie opgetel en begin om by elke winkel te vra
terug tot by die speelgoed winkel. Dit alles het in 'n kwessie van 5 minute
My dogterjie het my seuntjie gevra of hy self geloop het en hy het toe
geantwoord dat een van die Ooms sy hand gevat het.
'n Ander vroutjie het my Maandag vertel dat hulle die naweek in Boksburg by
'n sentrum was en hulle het by die Woolworths ingegaan. Haar ma was saam en
was moeg en het besluit om buite die winkel op 'n bankjie te gaan sit en
wag. Die volgende oomblik sien haar ma 'n blanke man met een van die
dogtertjies(5 jaar oud) by die winkel uit geloop gekom. Haar ma het toe op
hom geroep en gevra wat doen hy, waarop hy weg gehardloop het.
Intussen het sy agtergekom haar een dogterjie is weg en die sekuriteit gevra
om die deure toe te maak - maar die man was alreeds buite.
As dit nie was dat haar ma buite gesit het en wag nie - was hy weg met haar
Wees asseblief bewus daarvan dat ons kinders teikens is en hou jou kinders
die heeltyd onder oe. 


Wednesday, December 9, 2009





Ek loop met hierdie "gevoelente" in my hart en dalk is die gevoelente 'n teken dat ek dit in my hart met jou moet
Die Here slaan my so nou en dan met 'n vyetak van genade oor die kop en dan
voel ek so "gebless" dat ek net wil spring en lag en dans - want HY is so goed
vir ons.
Iemand het vanoggend ges
ê dat die Here deur mense met mense praat. Dit voel of die Here vandag vir my sê dat ek vir jou moet vertel dat HY vir jou ongelooflik
baie liefhet
cid:00a701ca5880$336cd8b0$380a0ac0@denise- en as jy vandag dalk bietjie moedeloos voel moet jy onthou dat jy baie het om voor dankbaar te wees!

As jy vanaand jou voor die TV uitstrek of jy dalk vir jou 'n lekker Peanut butter

broodjie smeer, 'n vleisie op die kole gooi
cid:00a801ca5880$336cd8b0$380a0ac0@denise of in die bed klim,
moet jy onthou dat selfs dit 'n "blessing" is!!

Eintlik is ons almal met die vyetak van genade geslaan
- ons besef dit net nie aldag nie..


Mag die laaste paar dae van 2009 vir jou baie mooi en spesiaal wees en mag jy sommer so half katswink geslaan word met die vyetak!!!
















Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Wallpaper 10

Ottawa River parkway lookout.
Four adult Canadian geese guarded about 30-40 small ones. It looked as some kind of a day care. 

In this world, there's always eat and be eaten.
For pictures, send a message to:

Five volcanoes rise up through the clouds in Guatemala, one of those erupting smoke clouds (Volcan de Fuego, big one, and Volcan de Acatenango, middle). 

Re: I've been watching you

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I've been watching you

Driving through town just my boy and me
With a happy meal in his booster seat
Knowing that he couldn't have the toy
Till his nuggets were gone
A Green traffic light turned straight to red
I hit on my brakes and mumbled under my breath
As fries went a flying and his orange drink covered his lap
Well then my four year old said a four letter word
It started with "S" and I was concerned
So I said son now where'd you learn to talk like that

He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
We got cowboy boots and camo pants
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you

We got back home and I went to the barn
I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
Said Lord please help me help my stupid self
Then this side of bedtime later that night
Turning on my son's scooby doo nightlight
He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees
He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands
Spoke to God like he was talking to a friend
And I said son now where'd you learn to pray like that

He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
We like fixing things and holding mama's hand
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you

With tears in my eyes I wrapped him in a hug
Said my little bear is growing up
And he said but when I'm big I'll still know what to do

Cause I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
Then I'll be as strong as superman
We'll be just alike, hey won't we dad
When I can do everything you do

Because I've been watching you

Pictures, "almost everything list"
PPS and video clips      
Recipes in Afrikaans           
Recipes in English   
News: Funny, Interesting, Weird:

Monday, December 7, 2009

Wallpaper 09


Mosaic jellyfish. This shot was taken in the Coral Sea, 100 nautical miles off Cairns, Australia.
If you want to receive the pictures as attachments send an e-mail to:  Or visit:

An Adelie penguin poses for a photo during our walk across the Antarctic ice.

Early morning takeoff.

On a rainy day by the lake I noticed this leaf.

For pictures, send a message to:

Or visit:



Thursday, December 3, 2009

You Know You're Getting Older When:

You Know You're Getting Older When:

*Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
*You keep repeating yourself.
*You keep repeating yourself.
*The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
*You feel like the night after, and you haven't been anywhere.
*You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
*Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
*You burn the midnight oil until 9 pm.
*Your back goes out more often than you do.
*You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
*You get winded playing chess.
*Your children begin to look middle aged.
*People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
*A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
*You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
*Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today..."
*You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
*The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
*Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
*You got cable for the Weather Channel.
*You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
*After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.
*Dialing long distance wears you out.
*You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.
*The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off.
*You get into a heated argument about medicare plans.
*A fortune teller offers to read your face.
*Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by.
*You're startled the first time you are addressed as an old timer.
*You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
*Relatives smile benignly rather than interrupt you as you retell the same story for the zillionth time.
*You are proud of your lawn mower.
*People don't harass you any more when you take an afternoon nap.
*Your relatives longingly refer to your things as "your estate".
*You're only good on a trip for an hour without your aspirin, beano and antacid.
*You're awake many hours before your body allows you to get up.
*You're wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just your left leg.
*You are having trouble remembering simple words like....
*You're anti-everything: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammation....

Three Men on a Hike



Three Men on a Hike*

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large
raging, Violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man

' God, please give me the strength to cross the river. '

Poof! . God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim
across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.


After witnessing that, the second man prayed: ' God, please give me
strength and the tools to cross the river '

Poof! .. God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he
was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.



Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: ' God,
please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the
river '









 Poof! . He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one
hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.


If at first you don't succeed, do it the way your wife told you!* 























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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Dog's life

•  A man took his dog to the vets and asked the vet to completely remove the dogs tail. The vet confused said "Why do you want me to do that? the dogs tail is perfectly healthy." The man replied "Well the wife's mother comes this weekend and I want to make sure there are no signs of any welcome!!"

•  A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his house was guarded. One day a woman knocked at his door. "Is that your big dog outside?" Wondering how she had got past him he said "Yes why?" She said I'm sorry but my dog just killed him!" "What??" Roared the man "What kind of dog have you got??" "A Peke" Replied the woman. "A Peke??? how could that little thing kill my big fine guard dog?" "I think it got stuck in his throat!" Replied the woman.

•  A man is walking down the street when he hears a voice, "Pssst you come over here!" He looks round and can see no one but an old mangy greyhound. "yes over here!" Said the greyhound "Look at me I'm tied up here, I should be racing I won 14 races in my carrer you know?" The man thought to himself "Oh my god a talking dog, I have to have it, it will make me rich, tv appearances cabaret bookings" So he goes in search of the owner. He found the owner and said "I'd like to buy your dog, is he for sale??" The owner says "No mate you don't want that old moth eaten thing!" "But I do!" Insisted the man "I'lll give you 1000 pounds for him. "Ok said the owner but I think your making a big mistake!" Handing over the money the man said "Why do you think that?" The man replied "Because that dogs a bloody liar it's never won a race in it's life!"

•  A man and his dog went into a pub. The barman said "Sorry mate no dogs allowed in here!" The dog said "Oh please don't be like that, I'm trained and I won't cause any trouble!" The bar man was astonished at the talking dog and sat and chatted with the dog and it's owner. After a while the owner went to the toilet and the barman saw his chance for a prank. He said to the dog "Would you do me a favor as a wind up, will you go down to my friends bakers shop and order a loaf of bread??" "Sure!" Replied the dog. The bar man gave the dog a fiver and the dog left. When the owner came out of the toilet he went into a panic when he saw his dog had gone. The barman said "It's ok he's gone down to the bakery for me" The owner was livid "It IS NOT OK he's never been out on his own, anything could happen to him he could get run over. The owner spent the next hour searching for his dog, walking the str eets frantically. As he was walking he heard strange noises coming from an ally way, he went down and there was his dog having it's wicked way with a lady poodle. "ROVER!" Shouted the owner "You've had me worried sick, what's the matter with you you've never dissapeared like this before!" The dog replied "I've never had a fiver before!"

•  Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying; DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

•  A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was exhibiting an extraordinary performance. "That is a very smart dog," the man commented. "He's not so smart," said one of the irked players. "Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."

•  A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for it?" "Well," said the vet "let's have a look at him" The vet picks the dog up by the ears and has a good look at its eyes. "Well," says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down." "Just because he's cross-eyed?" say's the man. "No, because he's heavy," says the vet.

•  A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual". The dog looked at the manager calmly and said "Meow".

Does Mommy Have a Phone Number in Heaven?

Does Mommy Have a Phone Number in Heaven?

Mommy went to Heaven,
But I need her here today,
My tummy hurts and I feel down,
I need her right away,
Operator can you tell me how
To find her in this book?
Is heaven in the yellow part,
I don't know where to look.
I think my daddy needs her too,
At night I hear him cry.
I hear him call her name sometimes,
But I really don't know why.
Maybe if I call her,
She will hurry home to me.
Is heaven very far away,
Is it across the sea?
She's been gone a long, long time
She needs to come home now!
I really need to reach her,
I simply don't know how.
Help me find the number please,
Is it listed under 'Heaven'?
I can't read these big words,
I am only seven.
I'm sorry operator,
I didn't mean to make you cry,
Is your tummy hurting too,
Or is there something in your eye?
If I call my church maybe they will know.
Mommy said when we need help that's where we should go.
I found the number to my church
Tacked up on the wall.
Thank you operator,
I'll give them a call