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Showing posts from 2009

The Truth about Santa / Father Christmas

SANTA CLAUS IS A WOMAN.  I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it.  Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selectinggifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind ofEbenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socketwrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's anenormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmasmorning to…

Vir die manne

Why Does an Entire String of Christmas Lights Fail When a Single Bulb Burns Out?
A seemingly innocent string of Christmas lights actually has many tricks up its sleeve, most of which won't be discovered by the household tree decorator until it's too late. Christmas tree lights really do multiply in the box, and they spend most of their days braiding themselves together in Gordian knots. The final act of Christmas light cruelty is the "all or nothing" lighting trick. Depending on the design, an entire string of Christmas lights can indeed fail if only a single bulb burns out or comes out of its socket. The reason for this has to do with the nature of electrical circuits and the Christmas bulbs which depend on them.

There are two basic electrical wiring scheme used to form a string of Christmas lights. One scheme, called a series uses a single wire connection between bulbs to light them all. The electricity from the household outlet flows down that single wire and thro…

Human Trafificking 2010 al hoe nader aan die huis

PAS JULLE KINDER OP…..LEES ONDER….Liewe Melaine Ek het nie tyd om alles vir jou te verduidelik nie – ons is betrokke in Human Trafficking.  Asb.  10 000 kinders word beplan en word reeds gesteel hiervoor.  Stuur asb vir jou vriendinne om hulle kinders soos valke dop te hou – dogters EN seuns.  LiefdeElzaan. Hi julle,  Ek begin regtig bekommer raak hieroor.  2 Weke terug het het 'n man in Mr Price home my nie gesien staan nie en reguit na Emily geloop en aan haar gevat.  Ek het hom gevra wat hy doen  toe se hy sy is vir hom so mooi en vat weer aan haar, ek het amper 'n beroerte gekry.  In die laaste 2 weke het dit 2 keer met haar gebeur, verlede week weer toe sy saam met my ma in Pick 'n Pay was.  Ek het ook gehoor dat hulle so aan hulle vat en met die ander hand iets inspuit wat hulle dadelik uitsit!  Lees hier onder, hierdie het regtig gebeur, ons kan glad nie ons kinders alleen los of ons oe …

Gevoelente...

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GEVOELENTE

Ek loop met hierdie "gevoelente" in my hart en dalk is die gevoelente 'n teken dat ek dit in my hart met jou moetdeel.
Die Here slaan my so nou en dan met 'n vyetak van genade oor die kop en dan
voel ek so "gebless" dat ek net wil spring en lag en dans - want HY is so goed
vir ons.
Iemand het vanoggend gesê dat die Here deur mense met mense praat. Dit voel of die Here vandag vir my sê dat ek vir jou moet vertel dat HY vir jou ongelooflik
baie liefhet - en as jy vandag dalk bietjie moedeloos voel moet jy onthou dat jy baie het om voor dankbaar te wees!

As jy vanaand jou voor die TV uitstrek of jy dalk vir jou 'n lekker Peanut butter
broodjie smeer, 'n vleisie op die kole gooiof in die bed klim,
moet jy onthou dat selfs dit 'n "blessing" is!!

Eintlik is ons almal met die vyetak van genade geslaan -ons bes…

Wallpaper 10

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Ottawa River parkway lookout.
Four adult Canadian geese guarded about 30-40 small ones. It looked as some kind of a day care. 



In this world, there's always eat and be eaten.




Five volcanoes rise up through the clouds in Guatemala, one of those erupting smoke clouds (Volcan de Fuego, big one, and Volcan de Acatenango, middle). 











Re: I've been watching you

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I've been watching you

Driving through town just my boy and me
With a happy meal in his booster seat
Knowing that he couldn't have the toy
Till his nuggets were gone
A Green traffic light turned straight to red
I hit on my brakes and mumbled under my breath
As fries went a flying and his orange drink covered his lap
Well then my four year old said a four letter word
It started with "S" and I was concerned
So I said son now where'd you learn to talk like that

He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
We got cowboy boots and camo pants
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you

We got back home and I went to the barn
I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
Said Lord please help me help my stupid self
Then this side of bedtime later that night
Turning on my son's scooby doo nightlight
He crawled out of bed and he got do…

Wallpaper 09

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Mosaic jellyfish. This shot was taken in the Coral Sea, 100 nautical miles off Cairns, Australia.








An Adelie penguin poses for a photo during our walk across the Antarctic ice.





Early morning takeoff.


On a rainy day by the lake I noticed this leaf.
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You Know You're Getting Older When:

You Know You're Getting Older When:

*Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
*You keep repeating yourself.
*You keep repeating yourself.
*The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
*You feel like the night after, and you haven't been anywhere.
*You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
*Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
*You burn the midnight oil until 9 pm.
*Your back goes out more often than you do.
*You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
*You get winded playing chess.
*Your children begin to look middle aged.
*People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
*A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
*You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
*Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today..."
*You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
*The little grey haired lady you he…

Three Men on a Hike

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Three Men on a Hike*

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large
raging, Violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man
prayed:

' God, please give me the strength to cross the river. '



Poof! . God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim
across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.




After witnessing that, the second man prayed: ' God, please give me
strength and the tools to cross the river '



Poof! .. God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he
was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.




Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: ' God,
please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the
river …

Dog's life

•  A man took his dog to the vets and asked the vet to completely remove the dogs tail. The vet confused said "Why do you want me to do that? the dogs tail is perfectly healthy." The man replied "Well the wife's mother comes this weekend and I want to make sure there are no signs of any welcome!!"

•  A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his house was guarded. One day a woman knocked at his door. "Is that your big dog outside?" Wondering how she had got past him he said "Yes why?" She said I'm sorry but my dog just killed him!" "What??" Roared the man "What kind of dog have you got??" "A Peke" Replied the woman. "A Peke??? how could that little thing kill my big fine guard dog?" "I think it got stuck in his throat!" Replied the woman.

•  A man is walking down the street when he hears a voice, "Pssst you come…

Does Mommy Have a Phone Number in Heaven?

Does Mommy Have a Phone Number in Heaven?
Mommy went to Heaven,
But I need her here today,
My tummy hurts and I feel down,
I need her right away,
Operator can you tell me how
To find her in this book?
Is heaven in the yellow part,
I don't know where to look.
I think my daddy needs her too,
At night I hear him cry.
I hear him call her name sometimes,
But I really don't know why.
Maybe if I call her,
She will hurry home to me.
Is heaven very far away,
Is it across the sea?
She's been gone a long, long time
She needs to come home now!
I really need to reach her,
I simply don't know how.
Help me find the number please,
Is it listed under 'Heaven'?
I can't read these big words,
I am only seven.
I'm sorry operator,
I didn't mean to make you cry,
Is your tummy hurting too,
Or is there something in your eye?
If I call my church maybe they will know.
Mommy said when we need help that's where we should go.
I found the number…

Resepte op Word doc Recipes on word doc

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Mag jy

MAG JY...

      - Nooit omdraai wanneer jy teleurgestel word nie.
      - nooit ophou wanneer jy verloor het nie.
      - nooit bly lê wanneer jy geval het nie.
      - nooit haat wanneer jy seer gekry het nie.
      - nooit minderwaardig voel wanneer jy nie waardeer word nie.
      - nooit hoogmoedig word wanneer jy presteer het nie.
      - nooit rus wanneer jy voorspoed gevind het nie.
      - nooit in die steek laat wanneer jy vertrou word nie.

       MAG JY..

        - Altyd lewe met die wete dat jy met 'n doel lewe.
        - altyd ly in die geloof sodat lyding krag bring.
        - altyd doen met die besef dat dit jou taak is.
        - altyd gee en deur jou gawe verryk word.
        - altyd gereelmagtigheid en ondersteuning kry.
        - altyd lewe met die oog op die onsienlike.

       MAG JY...
         Een wonderlike dag he. 


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As jy jou kind moet groet?

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Ongelooflike getuienis...

AS JY JOU KIND MOET GROET

'n Paar jaar na my twee seuns se geboorte het ek, elke nou en dan 'n
gedagte gekry dat ek een van my kinders gaan verpleeg op 'n siek bed.
Ek kon nie sê watter seun dit gaan wees nie, maar die gedagte het
gereeld by my opgekom.

Jaundre is in Desember 2006 gediagnoseer met kanker. Ons moes die dag
van diagnose onmiddelik Kaapstad to gaan vir behandeling by Rooi-Kruis
Kinder hospital. Die behandeling was intensief, maar hy het goed
gereageer daarop ten spyte van al die newe-effete van chemoterapie.
Binne 10 dae was die 6cm tumor wat op sy borsbeen was feitlik weg. Die
dokters was baie positief. Na omtrent 'n maand is Jaundre ontslaan om
sy behandeling voort te sit in PE. Alles het goed verloop en ons het
met die Junie maand skool vakansie terug gegaan Rooi Kruis hospitaal
toe vir 'n opvolg ondersoek. Weereens het die spesialiste ons verseker
alles verloop volgens plan. Ons was in daar…

Spleek Cleeyarley (Speak Clearly)

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalists
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiation


THINGS THAT ARE DOWN RIGHT IMPOSSIBLE
TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me thanks!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Kebab? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening officer, Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh no,I couldn't. I'm tone deafa and nobody wants to hear me sing karaoke tonight.
7. I'm just not interested in fighting you!
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance as I have noco-ordination. I'd hate to make myself look a complete idiot!
9. I really must be going home now,Ive had a few drinks and have to go to work in the morning.
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Don't talk and drive

Cell phone danger

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Just drive

How to Catch a Snake...African Style

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Single black female

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Single Black Female
This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Johannesburg Times.
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. 
I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your bakkie, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me...Call (011)885-6420 and ask for Annie, I'll be waiting.....



Over 150 men found themselves talking to the SPCAIf you don't pass this along, a dog will come out and pee on your keyboard