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Showing posts from July, 2010

Panjo - the 17 month old Bengal tiger - is still on the loose

Panjo still roaming free

Gloria Edwards, Beeld (Beeld newpaper, South Africa)

Groblersdal - Now they're just hoping their beloved cat comes home.

A 17-month-old Bengal tiger has caught the attention of the whole country after somehow escaping from his owners' bakkie on Monday night, and is now roaming about somewhere between Groblersdal and Delmas.

Helicopters, microlights, aircraft, dogs, trackers, and later even infrared equipment was used in the hope of finding Panjo (which means "playful" in Italian), but he is still at large.

His owners', Goosey, 51, and Rosa Fernandes, 45, hope he will arrive at their smallholding at Endicott near Springs on Wednesday.

The tiger jumped from their Ford F250 bakkie ( bakkie - Afrikaans word for a certain type of vehicle)   on Monday night between 20:00 and 22:00, somewhere between Delmas and his owners' game farm, Jugomaro, at Groblersdal. They were on their way back to the smallholding.

Panjo was on his way to the vet in…

Quiz for the Grandkids

Which month has 28 days?
All of them!What did the hat say to the scarf?
You hang on around while I go on ahead!If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?
Wet!Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.What is the longest word in the English language?
SMILES - because there is a mile between the first and last letters.What two things can't you have for dinner?
Lunch and breakfast!Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
He got fed up with the whole business!What's the difference between a wizard and the letters S A M E K?
One makes spells, the other spells makes!What starts with e, ends with e, but has only one letter?
An envelope!What has no beginning, no end, and nothing in the middle?
A doughnut!What is full of holes but can still hold water?
A sponge.What comes once in a year, twice in a week, and never in a day?
The letter E.

Keeper...

It is difficult for some people to accept that love is a choice. This
seems to run counter to the generally accepted theory of romantic love
which expounds that love is inborn and as such requires no more than to
accept it. This theory believes that love is a magical force which frees
us from all suffering and solves every problem, that is an end unto
itself. To a limited extent, there may be some truths to each of these
beliefs, but having the capacity to love is not the same as having the
ability to love.
One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the
warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning
that sometimes there isn't "anymore". No more hugs, no more special
moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more
"just one minute." Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used
up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say"I love
you."

So while we h…

Launch Older Persons Act

WISE OLD DOG                                                             


One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long,  
discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading   
rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.               

The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!'         
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to
chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the       
panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, 'Boy,   
that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around     
here?'                                                                     

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of 
terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the 
panther, 'That was close! That old German Shepherd near…

Wie is jy

( Skrywer: Onbekend)                   Het jy al ooit vir jouself inni spieël gekyk engewonder 'wie de flenter is jy!?'  Well. It happened to me a few daysago.  Staan op, stort, trek aan ens ens. Toe ek voor die spieel staanlyk ek vir myself nie so lekker nie.  Neeeee. Dit was nie oor my broekte styf gesit het of my hare nie te hot gelyk het nie!  Iets het net virmy laat besef ek's seriously besig om myself te fool!                  Daar staan ek elke oggend op, all holy and spiritualen al daai lekker dinge! "Here, ek gee vandag vir U, seën dit asb...Tralalala. En Here, ek werp al my bekommernisse op U, want ek's niesterk genoeg om dit te dra nie. Blah blah blah"  Jy ken seker daaigebedjie.  Anyway. Ekke staan so vir myself en kyk inni spieel en besefnet dat as ek  regtig sooo vreeslik op die Here vertrou om my crap uitte sorteer Dan moet ek dit genuinely let go!  Al …

LORD PROP US UP...

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LORD PROP US UP...


Every time I am asked to pray, I think of the old fellow who always prayed, 'Lord, prop us up on our leanin' side.' After hearing him pray that prayer many times, someone asked him why he prayed that prayer so fervently.

He answered, 'Well sir, you see, it's like this... I got an old barn out back.  It's been there a long time; it's withstood a lot of weather; it's gone through a lot of storms, and it's stood for many years.

It's still standing. But one day I noticed it was leaning to one side a bit.

So I went and got some pine poles and propped it up on its leaning side so it wouldn't fall.

Then I got to thinking about that and how much I was like that old barn... I've been around a long time..

I've withstood a lot of life's storms. I've withstood a lot of bad weather in life, I've withstood a lot of hard times, and I'm still standing too.…

When a woman lies

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When a woman lies

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting 
close to a river, her thimble fell into the river.. When she cried out, the Lord appeared 
and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" 
The seamstress replied that her thimble had 
fallen into the water and that she needed it to 
help her husband in making a living for their 
family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water 
and pulled up a golden thimble set with 
sapphires.






"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, "No."


The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a 
golden thimble studded with rubies.


"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.



Again, the seamstress replied, "No."




The Lord reached down a…

Error Messages

[When I get the message "Your computer has performed an illegal operation",
I get frustrated. How much better to see it in Haiku? Here are some of the
best.]The Web site you seek cannot be located, but countless more exist.Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much.Windows 7 crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that.Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has
occurred.You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here.www.eposvriende.com

MAAK MY 'N HOUSPYP

Here maak my 'n houspyp (tuinslang)
Here, maak my vandag (soos ons kleintyd gesê het) 'n 'houspyp'. Sommer net 'n ordinêre 'houspyp', Here, wat gereed lê in U tuin ... Weerhou my daarvan om ambisieus te strewe na die aansien van 'n kristalkraffie - wat mooi, maar snobisties-suinig bietjies water in delikate klein glasies skink, maar nooit 'n groot dors les nie. Weerhou my van die versamelwaarde van 'n kunstige erdekruik - wat, al hou hy die water heerlik koel, 'n bodem het. Leeg raak. Gewoonlik te gou ... Want selfs die waardevolste kruik wat leeg is, bied geen verweer teen die venyn van 'n droë wind nie! Nee, Here, maak my sommer net 'n 'houspyp' - wat tevrede is om dag na droë dag net 'n kanaal te wees vir U strome van lewende water. (Wat, vreemd genoeg, méér blink uit 'n 'houspyp' as in kristal.) En, Here God, maak my oë oop vir verwelkte mense wat verskroei in die wind!
Amen
www.eposvriende.com

Warnings and Instructions

1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." Wouldn't that save time?2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary!Details inside." So, you just rip the package open, read the details, and then put the package back on the shelf?3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Use like regular soap." So Dial soap isn't soap?4. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." One can only hope 5. On a Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down."Oops! Too late!6. On packaging for an iron: "Do not iron on body." So that's what I've been dong wrong.7. On Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medicine." Yes, we could prevent a lot of accidents if we could get those little kids out from behind the wheel of a car and off those forklifts. .8. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."And…

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN


The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.  He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.  However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest,
it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It sure is
good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.
 Life was a big enough test
as it was."
St. Peter continued, "Yes, I
know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the …