A European pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.
The two Americans just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries.
The two continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?" No response.
"Hablan ustedes Espanol?"
The guy drives off frustrated.
The first American turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."
"What for?" asks the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
A man takes his seat in the theater, but he is too far from the screen.
He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a big tip."
The usher moves him into the front row, and the man rewards him with a measly quarter.
The usher looks at his tip for a second and then leans over to whisper to the man, "the wife did it."