When God created Fathers


When God Created Fathers
Erma Bombeck

When the good Lord was creating Fathers he started with a tall frame.
And a female angel nearby said, "What kind of Father is that?
 If you're going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high?
 He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending,
or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping."

And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would
children have to look up to?"

And when God made a Father's hands, they were large and sinewy.
And the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do you know what you're doing? Large hands are clumsy.
They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or ev en remove splinters caused
 by baseball bats."

And God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his
pockets at the end of a day...yet small enough to cup a child's face in his hands."

And then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders. And the angel nearly had a heart attack.
 "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do you realize you just  made a Father without a lap?
 How is he going to pull a child close to him without  the kid falling between his legs?"

And God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a
bicycle, and hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."

God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had every seen when the angel could contain herself no longer.
"That's not fair. Do you honestly th ink those large boats are going to dig out of  bed early in the morning when the baby cries?
 Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the  guests?"

And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see.
They'll support a small child who wants to ride a horse to Banbury Cross, or  scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display
shoes that will be a challenge to fill."

God worked throughout the night, giving the Father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that saw everything,
but remained calm and tolerant.
Finally, almost as an afterthought, he added tears.

 Then he turned to the angel and said, "Now, are you satisfied that he can  love as much as a Mother?"

The angel shutteth up.                            


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