Blessed are the cracked.

 

 

Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light!

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1..
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2..
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3..
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4..
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

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6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7..
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8..
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

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9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10....
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13..
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14..
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

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16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18
. Procrastinate Now!

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19..
I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want chips With That?
20..
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21..
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a loan from the bank.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24
.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken,plus a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27..
The trouble with life is there's no background music.

              And the best one of them all....................
      29..
I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

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