FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY. The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door: TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS: (1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't smoke or drink, (7) don't want to wear your clothes, (8) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (10)if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...
OUTYDSE SOETKOEKIES10 koppies meel 4 koppies suiker500g margarien 6 eiers10 teelepels bakpoeier knippie sout½ koppie lou water Sif alle droë bestanddele saam. Klits botter en suiker vir ongeveer 10 minute tot room, en voeg eier een vir een by. Klits goed. Voeg droë bestanddele by die suiker, margarien en eier mengsel. As deeg 'n bietjie styf is voeg 'n kwart tot 'n halwe koppie lou water by en meng deur. Laat deeg vir ongeveer een uur staan. Rol uit op meel bestrooide oppervlakte en druk uit. Pak in gesmeerde bakplate. Bak teen 180°C vir 10 minute of tot ligbruin.Let us know if you want to receive our recipes as a word.doc attachment.Simply reply to this e-mail or contact us http://contact.eposvriende.com Sluit aan by Resepte Ruil: (Afrikaans & English) firstname.lastname@example.orgJoin Recipe Exchange: (English only) email@example.com…
Souskluitjies Lekker Kluitjies om op jou kookvleis of
potjies te sit. Maak seker jy het genoeg sous in jou pot
dat dit nie droog kook of jou vleis aanbrand nie.
250 ml (1 k) koekmeel
7 ml (1½ t) bakpoeier
2 ml (½ t) sout
60 g botter or margarien, in blokkies gesny
10 ml (2 t) droë pietersielie
60-80 ml (¼-1⁄3 k) melk Sif die meel, bakpoeier en
sout saam. Vryf die botter met die
vingerpunte in tot die mengsel soos broodkrummels lyk. Voeg die pietersielie by en
net genoeg melk om ’n sagte deeg te vorm. Skep eetlepels vol deeg in
die vleispot en bedek. Laat minstens 15 minute
prut sonder om die deksel op te lig tot die kluitjies gaar is. (’n Mes moet
skoon uit die middel kom.) Resep van Huisgenoot/Stork